Slow it down like we're on the syrup: Screw Rock 'n' Roll Top 69 Singles of 2006, Nos. 26-30

Oh shit. Better get back to this, huh?

But before we do, check out my review of the new Ryan Adams' record that went up at Stylus on Tuesday, and my (northern hemisphere) Summer Jamz '07 mix tape which went up today.

30. Pimp C ft. Mike Jones & Bun-B - Pourin' Up

Have you ever heard one of those "Bring New York Back" type guys talk about Pimp C? (Honestly, I don't hate those dudes at all - I really quite admire more than a few of them - but they make such an easy target of themselves that I can't help myself.) Even if you can get them to admit that UGK is the motherfucking shit, they'll start fucking on about how Bun-B has got something going, but Pimp C is a brain dead retard. Now I can't vouch for any intelligence the man has, or lack thereof, but I can definitely support the man as being a hell of a good rapper. Most of the appeal is how plain hard he goes, milking the aural hell out of every syllable, every sound of every consonant and vowel he spits. He also rests heavily on his accent, too, and he's well aware of how to use it with his words to make them sound even meaner, even more ruthless and even more thrilling than they already are.

"Pourin' Up" is a collaboration with Bun-B, so that makes it a UGK track in all but name, and I wouldn't be a bit disappointed if it ended up finding a place on the new album that needs to come out a minute ago. In addition to Pimp C being the always welcome presence he is, Bun-B makes, as usual, a top-notch showing (how is it possible that his guest appearances are of such a consistently high quality, especially compared to other premium rappers, like, Jay-Z, Lil' Wayne, T.I., etc.?), and Mike Jones is, well, he's Mike Jones. He's never anything but, though here he does do a good job of exceeding expectations, which is something he does more often than you'd expect. Should you not know, that's Salih Williams ("Still Tippin'", "Sittin' Sideways", "My '64") producing this, and he once again proves that he's one of the most underrated beatmakers around. By the way, it's the chopped and screwed version I've linked to up there. Done by Michael Watts and really quite good.

29. Kanye West ft. Lupe Fiasco - Touch the Sky

One little thing I'd like to mention: I don't rate myself as any kind of producer (yet, I clarify for you future Saturday Club stans), but ever since I heard Curtis Mayfield's "Move On Up", I wanted to sample that horn theme. And then Just Blaze did it for Kanye, and did it better than I could have. Oh well.

This is the first Kanye album track that had a non-Kanye producer, and it was natural enough that the ring-in should be, Just Blaze, a man who originally proved himself in the same arena that West did, Jay-Z's The Blueprint. Last I heard, Graduation is about half non-Kanyeezy productions, so the quality of this single is a welcome precedent, even if Kanye will always be better behind the boards than the mic.

The real story behind this song, though, is Lupe, who crashed on to the mainstream rap scene in a major way with his verse. That shit probably set him up for failure, cause to back up that verse he was going to need to release Illmatic as his debut, but still, I'm not going to pretend Food and Liquor wasn't a major disappointment. The problem with that album was that it didn't fulfil the promise Lupe's verse on "Touch the Sky" made, and his debut single "Kick Push" followed up on. Lupe should have been the perfect artist to continue 'Ye's "Benz and a backpack" aesthetic: nuanced and emotional and still gully, but hard and realistic without sacrificing his human idiosyncracies or devolving into preachiness. This verse references baseball and anime without losing its swagger, and you can't believe how mucn hope I hold out that Lupe can present a solid artistic vision on his next full length rather than the bullshit equivicating he offered last time round. Either way, this track (and I know he had underground shit before this) was a hell of an introduction. Kanye was good too, but, you know, you expect that.

28. DJ Khaled ft. Lil' Wayne, Paul Wall, Fat Joe, Rick Ross & Pitbull - Holla at Me

Apparently this was played on the radio in the States? Y'all Americans don't realize how bizarre your pop culture can be. Something this bizarre, this sparse and booming, would never make it on to the radio down here.

In actuality, none of the verses are that interesting on this one, though whenever I listen to it, I'm always pleasantly reminded that once upon a time, Paul Wall didn't actually sound like ass (fuck his new album, for real). I think I like Fat Joe's verse best, not because he says anything interesting, but because he's better than all these guys at saying nothing, and is much more practiced at it. The beat is a big plus, too, of course. There are very few rap singles anymore that remind you that the music can be just a booming beat and a sample, and this track manages to follow that template without sounding like a throwback nostalgia-fest. I've got to give it up for Pitbull's verse, too, actually. I love the defiance of "That's all we talk about?/Well, welcome to the South." I'm into any rap, but it's refreshing to hear Pitbull stare down the criticisms made of his region, and instead of making excuses for it, saying, "Yeah, so the fuck what. That's what we do."

And a quick explanation for Tom Breihan, who has frequently mentioned his confusion over Paul Wall's line, "Immigration still harass": the following line is "because I'm riding something foreign." It's a clumsy metaphor, sure, but he means that his car is so obviously an expensive, imported model that immigration officials would be concerned, as if that car were a foreign person. He doesn't actually mean to imply that INS folks are actually harassing him, a white American-born male.

27. Belle and Sebastian - Funny Little Frog

The weird thing about this track is that though it sounds completely like the new-era, extroverted, poppy Belle and Sebastian, when I think of it, it doesn't feel any different to that old, bashful, withdrawn Belle and Sebastian. Even the rhymes ("the funny little frog in my thro-awt") and the story of unrequited love are more straightforward, cutesy and just plain twee than long time B&S listeners are used to, but it still sounds entirely natural, which is probably why it's so instantly likeable. I have a feeling that this was the song all us old school fans were hearing when we listened to the hushed, oddball pop of If You're Feeling Sinister, anyway, so the band's transition ends up sounding entirely rational.

26. Phoenix - Long Distance Call

I still prefer Phoenix in its smoother, dancier incarnation ("Too Young," "If I Ever Feel Better,") but as an attempt at coming up with a dirtier sound goes, this still manages to be pretty head-nodding. The stiff beat out-drum machines all the Strokes' faux-drum machine beats, and even the faintly distorted guitars retain enough glide to keep the song's momentum up. My favorite part is the cry of "long time, no see!" which manages to mean so much more than the actual semantic definition of those words, and ushers in a crescendo that doesn't really get any more louder, faster or more intense than what came before it.

It's the best we could do

Some stuff:

1. I'm sure I don't really need to mention it, since anyone who would read something at Pitchfork probably already reads Pitchfork, but today Tom Ewing has an interesting article about ABBA and the mundanely adult nature of its songs. It's something that interests me, because I'm fascinated by the way different genres impose restrictions, including the age of the artist's persona, on the artists who perform within that genre. It's a subject Dave Moore and I sort of vaguely danced around a while back (see the comments, too), and so I appreciate Ewing's analysis.

2. My review of the new Used record, Lies for the Liars went up last week, and I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. Y'all should check it out. I also contributed to Stylus' recent annual Eurovision roundup which was fun, even though this year's contest made me nostalgic for last year's. And I don't think I've officially mentioned yet that the Stylus Singles Jukebox has a new home.

Check it out. It's updated daily and I write about 1-2 blurbs a day, 4 days a week on average.

3.

Did Damien Hirst steal his £50 million diamond-encrusted skull idea from Juelz Santana? From his verse on Jim Jones' reclaimed version of Jay-Z's Jones-dis "Brooklyn High":

"I'm taking rock 'n' roll to another level: iced-out skull heads."

I think Hirst should compensate by giving Dipset the skull for free. Jim Jones can use it as a belt buckle.

The ravens are leaving the tower

The only monarch I recognize.

Screw Rock 'n' Roll is taking the Queen's Birthday Holiday off to mourn Australia's continued cultural, legal and institutional subservience to the British Empire.

Viva la republique.

Everybody walk the dinosaur

This is why he's Kells

Click to embiggen. Art stolen from Dinosaur Comics, obviously.

Cross posted at The Funky Funky 7

Ten days of perfect tunes: Screw Rock 'n' Roll Top 69 Singles of 2006, Nos. 31-35

No, I'm not going to use that picture. You know the one I mean. I have more class than your average rap blogger.

35. Birdman & Lil' Wayne - Stuntin' Like My Daddy

No. 35 could even be too low for this track. I found it rather boring the first time I heard it, and, true, it isn't exactly loaded with Weezy quotables. And, of course, Baby is no help. The man must surely be one of contemporary rap's greatest deadweights. His verses are utterly flaccid, he never has anything interesting to say, his guns, crack and wealth talk consisting of nothing more than rote cliche after rote cliche. He must be what all those boring people who hate Southern rap think all Southerners sound like.

But eventually, I started to see it's charms, or, more accurately, I just couldn't stop playing the thing. It's not like there's anything complicated about the appeal of this track; it is just so compulsively enjoyable. The keyboard plinks roll around like the spinning spokes on the wheel of a motorbike, and Wayne flattens his voice into a rolling stream of threats and floss, the most extreme example of that "it's not what he's saying, it's the way he's saying it" type of thing. The bike talk is really quite appropriate for the track, actually; its appeal is based entirely on the way it sweeps you up and rockets you along with it, and it has a wild momentum that makes hanging on and enjoying the ride a much more desirable option than trying to resist it.

The rest of the Like Father, Like Son album has also been sort of growing on me, though none of it is anywhere near as thrilling as this track. The album is, after all, just a stopgap/diversion holding back the release of Tha Carter III and building up a pension fund for Weezy's papa. But there is an unexpectedly large number of tracks that don't sound too bad when I'm in the mood for New Orleans gangsta-isms, which is quite a lot of the time. I never play the whole thing, but I don't mind picking out "Don't Die," "Leather So Soft," "1st Key," "About All That," or "Over Here Hustlin'" every now and then. Also, the production is heavy on the slowed down guitars. Maybe that's why I'm such a sucker for it: it's nearly screwed up rock 'n' roll.

34. Hot Chip - Boy From School

Hot Chip is one of those bands I have a habit of forgetting that I like, simply because everyone else I know who likes them has such an ardent love for them that my casual affection starts to feel like indifference. But, no, I enjoy their stuff, for the most part, but they haven't changed my life and I don't want to have the guy with the hulk hands babies. Actually, that's lucky, because if I did, I'd have some rather significant logistical problems to deal with.

The track I'd really like to be occupying this place is the title track from their '06 album, The Warning, because I find Hot Chip much more enjoyable when they're playing music that sounds like a more relaxed take on the poppier moments on Kid A rather than bedroom dance music. "Over and Over" is probably my least favorite Hot Chip song. "Boy From School" is in the bedroom dance music mold, but it makes up for that by not being irritating and by having lyrics like "We try, but we don't belong," giving the track just enough of an emotional core to get by. It helps, too, that their bedroom dance is, in this case, based on an agreeably addictive pulse that flows liquid-like around the base of the track.

33. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Cheated Hearts

Hey, first act with two entries in my Top 69, guest spots not included (ahem... Lil' Wayne). When Show Your Bones came out, there was both an unhealthy amount of amateur psychological profiling of Karen O based on the lyrics ("Sometimes I think that I'm bigger than the sound") and an unhealthy amount of comparison to "Maps." OK, the "Maps" comparisons may have been correct, even if they were unhealthy, but they certainly help to explain the appeal. Karen O does hurt and lost very well, and "Cheated Hearts" had both of those qualities in abundance. So did "Dudley," which was a better song and ludicrously reminded me of Harry Potter, but sadly was not a single. The lukewarm reaction to the album on its release probably killed any chance of this song being a hit, at an underground or mainstream level, and that's really too bad. "Cheated Hearts" should have been a triumphal follow-up to "Maps," and Show Your Bones should be loved in spite of its unforgiving difference from Fever to Tell.

(Also the rather awesome video has folks repping my sort-of home-town of Bellingham, WA, which, of course, earns it bonus points.)

32. Young Jeezy - I Luv It

This leaked the same week as Jay-Z's "Show Me What You Got," and the Def Jam signee easily trumped the President on the new single stakes, though I had them pretty much neck and neck at the time. But where Hov's Just Blaze-revitalized Public Enemy/"Rumpshaker"/"Darkest Light" horns were enough to snare my immediate attention, Jeezy's Toomp assisted slow-motion "What You Know" retread ended up being much more durable. "I Luv It" doesn't see Jeezy doing anything particularly new, and that same-old same-old approach wasn't enough to see him through The Inspiration. Luckily, his crack-dealing superhero swagger and exhaled adlibs more than carried this. With his hoarse rhymes and Dirty South lope, it made sense that Greg Gillis mashed him up with Nirvana's "Scentless Apprentice" on the Girl Talk record; "I Luv It," with its sneer and relentless confidence was almost like a dragged out punk song. And who needs lyricism on that?

31. Kleerup ft. Robyn - With Every Heartbeat

If you spend any time in an almost entirely meaningless niche of music discussion, you'll have heard of a country called Sweden. [1] The people who have opinions about this sort of thing tend to think of it as some sort of mystical, magical pop land. Because these people tend to come from English speaking countries, they sort of collapse Sweden, and its bigger cousin, Scandinavia, into one big entity, which I'm going to call Swedenavia. [2] And sure, Swedenavia has produced its share of good pop music. Some (not all or most) ABBA songs, large portions of the Knife's catalogue, some Millencolin [3], and singles from Annie, Robyn and Peter Bjorn and John. Probably a bunch of others, too. My point isn't to argue that Swedenavian music is awful. My point is that the greatness of songs like "Heartbeat" (Annie), "Heartbeats" (The Knife), and this song, "With Every Heartbeat," by Kleerup and Robyn [4] has created this absurd situation where singers who have the luck to come from the icy north of Europeland are subjected to no critical consideration whatsoever. In a bid to see that well-written pop from regions that may find it tougher to break into English speaking markets gets its due, we get a veritable skeetfest of misguided praise for bad-ska dreck like Amy Diamond and insubstantial dross like Marit Larsen. And sure, I accept that some people legitimately like this shit, though their reasons for doing so smell strongly like exotic cultures in the act of fetishization. Just as all the non-Brits who like Girls Aloud seem strangely silent on the subject of the practically identical Pussycat Dolls, thin pop songs from Swedish stars get strangely positive reviews, while similar recordings from nonentities like Stacie Orrico flounder in the wilderness of indifference. And, finally getting to the subject at hand, why is it that when a woman who speaks English as a second language, such as Robyn, releases an utterly terrible rap that trades in stereotypical (albeit ironically used) signifiers like "Konichawa Bitches"[5] is universally praised, while those who would praise her would tear to shreds an identical release from an American artist? [6]

Robyn is a dull artist, with dull songs, and, in "Konichiwa Bitches," a dull and embarrassing song. However, she also had "Be Mine," a wonderous track that was incredibly moving, woderfully catchy, and everything pop music should be, whether it comes from Scandinavia or Scranton. In "With Every Heartbeat," a collaboration, she got struck by lightning twice and created a song just as gloriously heartbreaking as her previous peak. The way Robyn whimpers "and. it. hurts. with. ev-e-ry. heartbeat." is not only completely captivating, it is the musical encapsulation of Samaire-Armstrong-as-Anna-Stern-on-the-O.C.'s hurt-puppy dog look. That is, heartbreaking. It helped, too, that the music had nothing but soft-edges, the synths sounding like they were misted by tears.

That Robyn could make lightning strike twice was definitely something I didn't see coming. I was happy for "Be Mine" to be her single magical pop moment, and to have her involved with a second great song was a bonus not to be questioned. But her nationality was not the reason this was a great song, and that she has had two great songs is not reason to elevate the rest of her incredibly average catalogue, nor any of the other average catalogues of any of her country people. Swedenavia is a country like any other. It too has more than its share of artists with only one or two great singles.

[1] Meaningless, in this case, being defined as the only discussion that matters; peversely, the more irrelevent a group of music critics, the more importance they have; the clique-y world of criticism on the internets similtaneously means everything and nothing. Sort of like the way Wilco debuted at #4 this week with a terrible album, in part because geeks on the internet wouldn't shut up about them 5 years ago and partly because people who have nothing to do with all the geeks on the internet started paying attention to them. What I'm saying is: more people are going to care about a 10.0 Pitchfork review than a 5 star Rolling Stone review, even though hundreds of thousands more people will read the RS review. And, similarly, hardly anyone will care what the people who read the Pitchfork review care about. It's a vicious cycle of apathy.
[2] You may notice, as you're reading this, that I share a lot of things in common with the irrelevent-but-talkative-Sweden-loving people I'm talking about. Please note two important differences: first, I don't indiscriminately love everything from Sweden, and second, those other people aren't writing this blog and therefore they can't defend themselves here.
[3] Yes, Millencolin, that's right.
[4] The Swedenavians like to know that their hearts are still beating
[5] This is tough: to people like Robyn, and myself for that matter, all pop music we make is appropriated from a foreign culture. I'm not criticizing Robyn for making a rap song, I'm criticizing her for making a bad rap song.
[6] Do you doubt me? Two words: Northern State. And hey, if you want to defend Robyn by calling her the Swedish Princess Superstar, be my guest.